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April 24, 2006
Whatever the Weather
by Caisa Soze
It's not a coincidence that the word "hot" is a sexual synonym as well as a description of rising degrees. In fact, it is also no coincidence whatsoever that men act in direct correlation with whether the weather is frisky, chilly, or on fire. It's a fascinating phenomenon, that ability of weather changes to affect manly behavior. From a purely anthropological point of view one observes that male temperatures rise with meteorological rises in temperature as well.
But the hypothesis merits reconsideration. First of all what defines "manly" behavior, and what characteristics belong to the category of being under the influence of temperature? And beyond the factors of heat and masculinity, are there other external variables that influence the theory?
Geographic Location
As an amateur anthropologue living in a city on the eastern north american coast where cold is also described as moth*f***ing freezing, and summer is swelteringly hot, I can personally attest to the drastic change in behavior ascribed to the shifting seasons. I have even gone so far as to venture that the male species migrates from some strange foreign land into this one when the warm weather arrives because if these guys have been here all along I sure as hell didn't notice. Obviously our only two seasons in the Philippines - summer and typhoon - aren't exactly polar opposites. Our Catholic background also frowns upon gawking too obviously (though we still do) and shouting obscenely at passersby is not exactly common fare (though relative to where you are). I find we're somewhat mild on that level, although it doesn't necessarily mean we're short of imagination nor stimulus. What I'm referring to is the fact that men from warmer places in the world are associated with being more affectionate, more passionate, more extroverted. It's human nature in relation to land; since a tropical country lives a tropical lifestyle, it's pace of life, attitudes and values are developed along those characteristics. We walk slowly so as not to break out into a sweat, take more time doing a task, and are welcoming even to the newest stranger. In contrast, countries with temperate seasons are generally more oriented towards efficiency, practicality, and that protestant work ethic. These ideas could likely influence the way their men behave towards women.
Northern Exposure Shock
It has to be taken into account that the swing from one extreme of the weather spectrum to the other causes havoc to the internal system of any male. In the middle of winter the cold is so harsh that eggs literally freeze on the sidewalk where they break (in some instances used as a sadistic prank). Friends walk past each other like strangers, their heads huddled down into their scarves and coats for warmth, oblivious to the world outside of their comfortable homes. When June turns the corner, people suddenly return to the world outside themselves, finding joy in the smallest dandelion or shortest skirt. No wonder they try to suck up every last bit of sunshine while they can.
Although it is arguably true that one way to keep warm on a cold winter night is to snuggle up and conserve body heat, the glaring summer sun still casts a spell even on the most frigid of us. There even seem to be some exceptional cases where a man, under the influence of overwhelming humidity, reacts to women with the same gusto as one who has made the transition from the Discovery Channel to the plains of the Serengeti. Is it truly possible this individual has never observed the female species in the wild?
Possible Cultural Indicators
One manifestation of this phenomenon I have christened the Macho Taxi Drivers i.e. Asphalt Poseurs Syndrome. Beats me but I swear they all turn Latino when summer hits. Cars blasting the latest top 40 as they roll slowly down the most congested avenues, scanning the streets and scoping the sidewalks - are these really the same insane motorists who gun you down like a deer in the midst of mind-numbing winter? Could those cat calls and hollers be emanating from the same breed that previously hurried by in the thick of snow and hail, crouched down in parkas and jackets? Is it possible loud-mouthed tourists only cross the border this time of the year and scram back home before their nuts freeze off?
Biological Analysis
All designed like clockwork, men's bodies are programmed to respond accordingly to their physical needs. So much so that it seems they often have no need for mental input in order to function since biological drives kick in hard and strong. Physiologically, for example, it's true that a man's crown jewels respond directly to what we'll refer to as "the way the wind blows". The colder the environment, the tighter they draw to the body for heat, preserving a particular temperature necessary to protect sperm (most of us are familiar with the prominent Seinfeld episode and George's incidents of shrinkage). The warmer it gets, the lower they, well, hang.
Scapegoating
But perhaps at the bottom of this all is actually the female's behavior in relation to the change in seasons. I suppose the theory could be paraphrased to ask: how do women modify their behavior to suit the seasons? One reason is clear enough - the hotter it is, the less clothing is necessary. Another is that the bonus of a tan calls many out to play, dressed to the nines in the latest summer bikinis. There is also the unadulterated, narcissistic pleasure of turning heads as you walk by. Not a bad way to spend a hot day. Finally there's just the inescapable fact that as your body literally heats up, so does your desire - your sensitivity is tweaked and your senses are engulfed by the sun's heady stimulus. As always, males take cues from females, and boy do females send them flying when the temperature rises.
Regardless of the explanation, the phenomenon is clearly observable. The hotter it gets, the more we like it. From north to south, east to west - men and women included.
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About the author: Caisa Soze is the alter-ego of a Portuguese-speaking, jazz-singing, camera-lugging Filipina. When she's not busy being a jedi in the making, she pursues her love of capoiera and makes a living as a lounge singer.
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